1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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