pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
