If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize