I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
