how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
false alarm, still single
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize