At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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