So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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