they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize