I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
