The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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