I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
