idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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