That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
