But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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