So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
