Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize