Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
