I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Even the bartender felt bad for me
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I checked into jail on foursquare
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
