it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
