That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
