So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
