oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just found puke in my bra..
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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