so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
