party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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