What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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