Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
