shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
