Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
