So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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