I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
