careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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