I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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