I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just had sex on a roof
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
