the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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