Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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