we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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