You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
