so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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