It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize