why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
