ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
