woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
