...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Less talking, more tequila
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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