your room smells of hookers.
And success
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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