May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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