My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize