How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
