Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
