she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
