those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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