he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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