i barfeds in our rink
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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