Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
