Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
