Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
3pm strippers are depressing
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
